Alex Tempel

Scott, Cheryl, and Alex Tempel had a lot planned this past October for their East Coast trip to visit friends and family. Scott had a work event scheduled, Cheryl had a long list of friends and relatives to see, and their son Alex had one very important box to check: to return to the May Center School for Brain Injury and Neurobehavioral Disorders, where he had been a student for several years.

“Visiting the school was the highlight of the whole trip for him,” recalls Scott. “He was so proud to be back!”

The journey that led Alex to the school all those years ago was one of tremendous hardship, perseverance, and ultimately, hope.

Alex was born a healthy and happy child in 1986, and developed typically for the first few years of his life. He had just turned three when his parents received the devastating news that doctors had located a tumor on his brain that required immediate invasive surgery. They successfully removed the tumor, but a follow-up operation caused cerebral meningitis, an infection of the brain.

Alex was left with a traumatic brain injury, along with other diagnoses including epilepsy, ADHD, Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder, and organic brain disorder with autistic-like symptoms.

The trauma to his brain had also caused significant behavioral changes. He became increasingly aggressive and displayed frequent intense and uncontrollable physical behaviors. His outbursts threatened the safety of those around him, and often resulted in instances of self-injury.

School was, understandably, quite difficult for Alex in his early years. The public school system in his hometown in California couldn’t provide the necessary support to educate and care for him. The district seemed ill-equipped and unwilling to take the time and energy needed to accommodate his complex needs. Scott and Cheryl quickly realized that in order to address and hopefully reduce Alex’s problem behaviors, they would have to expand their search for a specialized school.

They found that school 3,000 miles away, just outside of Boston. Dropping him off was, undoubtedly, the hardest thing Scott and Cheryl had ever done. However, they felt comforted by the staff right off the bat. And they believed wholeheartedly in the overall philosophy practiced at the school, and how the team identified and focused on what Alex needed most.

“Alex would get escalated by a certain level of enthusiasm,” Cheryl remembers. “The school was so calm, and staff intentionally didn’t display a lot of emotion, which really helped him. What changed his life most profoundly over time was how May taught him how to calm down.”

The individualized, positive behavioral approach was integral to Alex’s growth and improvement. His teachers taught him phrases like, “I need space,” which he would repeat to himself in moments of budding frustration and aggression. This technique, along with his increased awareness and growing skills, helped him de-escalate and self-modulate. The staff also introduced “talk time” – small chunks of time when Alex was encouraged to say whatever was on his mind. 

The staff countered Alex’s aggression by keeping the overall tone of his conversations quiet, calm, and simplified. He tended to get reactive and overwhelmed when hearing long explanations. Instead, his teachers, counselors, and therapists used select words and described rules or expectations in simple and clear language.

Over 25 years later, Alex continues to practice those techniques and use the skills acquired during his years at the school.

When the Tempels stopped by last October to tour the new campus, they ran into some familiar faces, including Executive Director Andrea Potoczny-Gray and Colleen Bennet, now a Residential Coordinator at the school. 
“Alex was one of the first students I worked with,” Colleen recalls. “He was a friendly kid who loved spending one-on-one time with staff. He’s one of those kids I’ll always remember, and I’m so lucky to have had the chance to work with him!”

Colleen expresses a sentiment that is shared by everyone who spends time with Alex. He approaches both friends and strangers alike with a kindness and gentleness that has continued to flourish in the decades since he left the school. He exudes a sweetness and warmth that we all look for in human connection. Alex may not be completely verbal, but it’s clear what he preaches and brings to the world: pure, steadfast love and acceptance.

“Alex has impacted and inspired so many people,” Scott says with pride, and a little awe. “Kids who grew up with him have gone on to become special education teachers, counselors, and psychologists, just because of the profound, positive impact he has had on them. It’s a powerful thing.”

Cheryl and Scott attribute Alex’s sweet and gentle demeanor to his time at the school – the patience, support, and love of the staff, and all the lessons learned.

“I don’t see any good ending to his story if he hadn’t attended the May Center,” Cheryl reflects. “It changed his life. It saved him, and it saved our family.”

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