By Jenna Gilder, Ph.D., LABA, BCBA
[This column was published in the West Springfield Republican on May 23, 2024.]
The world of friendships and dating can be confusing to navigate for anyone. This is especially true for autistic individuals who may have difficulty picking up on the non-verbal aspects of communication and the unspoken rules of friendship and dating.
Until recently, we have primarily focused on face-to-face interactions when teaching social skills to autistic individuals. Today, new advances in technology have led to the increasing use of social networking applications to socialize and expand the online dating world. Therefore, it is important to re-evaluate the many avenues to relationship-building available for autistic individuals in the 21st century.
What are some of the recent advances in technology that have impacted socialization?
- Electronic communication is being used to find and maintain relationships with friends and romantic partners (i.e., texting, social media applications, video gaming chatrooms, etc.).
- Friendship meetup applications have grown in popularity, especially among younger people. These applications bring people with similar interests together to engage in activities (Meetup, Bumble For Friends, Friended, Hiki, etc.).
- Online dating has increased in popularity with a wide range of applications on the market. Some are free, and others have a fee (OkCupid, Match, Hinge, eharmony, etc.).
How do these advances in technology benefit autistic individuals who are interested in friendships and romantic partners?
- It is important to consider how using technology might help autistic individuals overcome current barriers to socialization, such as the challenges of picking up on non-verbal communication (i.e., tone of voice, body expressions, etc.). With electronic communication, we are all at a disadvantage since no one is able to assess non-verbal communication. This evens out the playing field.
- If we only focus on face-to-face interactions, we are limiting the number of daily socialization opportunities. For example, we are not regularly spending all hours of the day around other people, and some socialization partners may not live close by.
- Technology can be motivating on its own. So, using technology as a way to develop relationships may make the socialization process more appealing to autistic individuals. It also may make the time they are already spending on devices more productive.
- The wide variety of dating applications on the market also allows for more choices and the ability to find the ones that best meet each person’s needs. Using these applications may also help people identify common interests more quickly since interests are listed on each individual’s profile. This, in turn, helps them identify people they might like to develop a relationship with. Using dating applications can be an easier way for autistic individuals to identify potential friends/partners as opposed to trying to meet and get to know someone in a loud, over-stimulating environment filled with other people.
- There are also dating and friendship applications on the market specifically geared towards the neurodivergent community (i.e., Hiki, Autism Date, Dateability, etc.). Some of these have been designed by neurodivergent individuals.
How do we stay safe online?
- It is important to keep in mind that, along with the benefits technology offers autistic individual for expanding social and dating networks and maintaining relationships, there are safety considerations. If someone is interested in further exploring how technology can help them with socialization, it would be beneficial for them to also learn about internet safety and for a clinician, trusted staff member, or guardian to provide support, supervision, and guidance when they are using technology.
The current advances in technology are opening up new avenues for autistic individuals to develop and maintain social and dating relationships. It is important that they become knowledgeable about these expanded opportunities – and their potential pitfalls – so they can safely enjoy the potential benefits they offer.
* May Institute is not endorsing any products listed; they are included as examples of available socialization technology.
Jenna Gilder, Ph.D., LABA, BCBA, is May Institute’s Director of Clinical Services and Training for Adult Services.
About May Institute
May Institute is a nonprofit organization that is a national leader in the field of applied behavior analysis and evidence-based interventions, serving autistic individuals and individuals with other developmental disabilities, brain injury, neurobehavioral disorders, and other special needs. Founded nearly70 years ago, we provide a wide range of exceptional educational and rehabilitative services across the lifespan. For more information, call 800.778.7601 or visit www.mayinstitute.org.
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